MARCH 30, 2014

 

OUR FIRST CHRISTMAS - 1986

It's not Christmas yet, but we're getting there. 

And as FB likes to do, it throws up photos and memories unexpectedly, and so came up this photo of Timmy dated December 24, 1986. 

Not sure why he doesn't have a shirt on. It was cold there. So it must have been inside. Or maybe it's just dated wrong.

But anyway, the pic and the date reminds me of a short story about our "first Christmas." 

We were pretty darn broke in those days. We had moved to St. Augustine, FL, a few months earlier where I taught at a Catholic high school and we were surviving on a bare minimum. 

Leone had taken a job at local bakery and somehow we pieced life together with our young son who we affectionally called "Timultaneous" after the the famed creation of Paul Keens Douglas, a fantastic Trinidadian comedian and storyteller. 

Well, Christmas Eve came along and we couldn't afford a Christmas tree, not even a fake one. So I cut down a Christmas tree-looking little fir growing in my neighbor's yard and rustled it into our pathetic little duplex. 

I don't think we had money for any lights - just enough for tinsel and tin foil to cover the window so our neighbor couldn't see where his tree went.

I know I have pics of that little tree somewhere, but can't find them. So you'll just have to believe me.

Merry early Christmas :)

July 4, 2011

 

APRIL 24, 2019

The fact is that William is the "last hold out." He's the last and only child who still wants to be with his "Dad!" He is the only child who still says "I love you. I miss you." He is the last child who wants "to go home to Guam." Thus Leone has to break him. First, by medicating him so he is too tired to talk to me at 7pm on our court ordered calls, which has now often been the case. But the real thing is to keep me from getting custody of William and taking him home to Guam so she can say "See, you father doesn't really want you, etc." She knows that William doesn't understand why I can't just come and get him. She also knows that she can beat the hell out of him, which she does, and then let William go and cry to me, and then he sees that I don't come and rescue him, which supports her story all the more to William. But William has been hanging on. He keeps telling me: Mom is lying to me. Mom is lying to me. But now with the medication he can't hardly talk to me at all. He's hanging on. He knows I love him. But now that he's being medicated into being a zombie, I don't know how long he can hang on. Thank you. I just needed to share. I am so frustrated that I have NOT been able to get any of these facts into court. 

THURSDAY, AUGUST 23, 2018

 Thursday, 8/23/18

Yesterday was the lowest day of my life. Leone's denial of every offer I made for some equity regarding the children and the property, compounded by a viciousness that I think even shook the mediator, multiplied by some other factors regarding legal counsel that I cannot share, and added all to 5 solid hours of exhaustive and fruitless negotiations, I barely crawled home last night and laid awake all night, despairing, but knowing that I had to hang on and find a way.

A visit with the children was scheduled today, but given how things went yesterday, and how confident Leone was about finally destroying me, I didn't expect her to keep the appointment. I sent a message to my attorney this morning and apparently she worked it with Leone's attorney to make sure she kept the appointment.

I got to Christiansted early and I parked next to Gianna's school, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. The school is next to the church where Leone and I had met with the priest who married us for our pre-marriage sessions. I decided to walk over and just peak in at the courtyard where we had sat 32 years ago. The gate was open and I saw a woman on the phone. I decided I wanted to talk to the pastor while I was there, but he wasn't in.

I walked out and saw the entrance to the school across the street. The gate was locked but a woman walking out let me in. I saw the word "office," and decided to pay the office a visit. I introduced myself as the father of Gianna Rohr. The lady immediately knew who she was: "Oh yes, very beautiful and smart, " she said. Then she looked at me closer and said: "I can see Gianna in your face." I advised her that I wanted to be copied on all communications, report cards, etc that went out to parents.

I then walked back to my car and sat there, waiting for the minutes to tick by to once again see my babies, maybe for the last time in a very long time. At about 20 minutes to 4, I received a call from my attorney's secretary telling me to meet the attorney at the office and that she had some documents for me.

My heart sunk. Every document I have been getting, except for once during this year long sordid affair, has been another blow to me, either a decision against me, or more absurd and outrageous lies designed to publicly destroy me - as the Guam media did.

I was paralyzed when I arrived at my attorney's office. She wasn't there but her secretary called her and I heard her ask "should I give him the documents." I didn't think my heart could take anymore. But then she handed me the document. It was what I had been waiting for since February. Only 24 hours after my wife and her attorney had rejected my extremely reasonable offer to settle and stormed out of the mediation, the VI court granted my motion to dismiss Leone's Action for Divorce. Her action is no more. My attorney said it is like it was never filed. Everything now must happen in Guam where it won't be so easy to lie because so many people there have known us for 30 years. I have to say that I broke down crying for several minutes. 

I put the document in my bag and went to see my children. Leone and her dad were there. They ignored me. I am quite sure that she had not been notified yet of the dismissal of her case. She probably knows now.

And so I am asking you to especially pray for her tonight. She is suffering from something. And whether it is really me or not, there is no doubt that she is in great pain, and the decision against her, after nearly a year of placing all her hope in it, well, I don't know what she will do.

What happens next, I'm not sure. I leave for Guam on Saturday with a stop in California.

EMAIL FROM DANA, JUNE 2013

Hi!

I'm sitting in SFO eating Clam Chowder. They have wifi and charging hubs here, so I don't mind waiting.

The plane ride from Guam actually passed by really quickly, I fell asleep before we even finished boarding and kept on sleeping for half the flight.

The breakfast they woke me up for was horrendous. And I mean, worse than usual. Makes me sick just thinking about it, but there was a really nice old lady from Saipan sitting next to me.

I don't know if she was trying too take care of me, or me of her, but in the end I filled our her customs form because she couldn't see without her glasses.

She told me I was a very good friend.

Hawaii's airport was gross and primitive, four of us waiting for the SFO flight ended up sharing a power strip that one guy brought because only one outlet was working.

A lady sitting next to me at the gate gasped in shock when I told her you had to pay for the wifi. She said, and I quote, "I guess we'll just eat."

Then she explained that in Hawaii, if all else fails, eat.

I had a half finished burger beside me and realised she was right.

I slept through the entire flight from Hawaii to San Fransisco. I was kind of worried about aneurisms, but I was in a window seat with two 'taller than me' people beside me. They were from Canada, and I didn't want to bother them too much so I only got up once.

Anyway, I'm here now, and in two hours I'll be boarding my next flight to Portland.

It's two and a half hours, so I'm going to run around the airport and try to get my feet from freezing so much during flights.

Ciao!

Dana

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2014-2015. MOM.